Utah Mother, Sam Kelly, Redefines Parenting and Chores with a “Work” Approach
Sam Kelly, a 38-year-old mother of three and former therapist turned feminist coach, has gained attention for her unconventional parenting style and approach to household chores. In an interview with Good Morning America, Sam shared her unique perspective on challenging traditional gender roles and changing the way she communicates with her children about managing their home.
Sam’s journey towards this approach began when she recognized a pattern in her parenting style similar to the one she was addressing with her husband, Chas Kelly. Despite Chas being a supportive partner, Sam felt overwhelmed by the invisible labor associated with running their household. Conversations with Chas about rebalancing responsibilities at home prompted Sam to reflect on her parenting style.
An epiphany occurred for Sam while preparing a chore chart for her kids. She realized that by asking her children to “help” with housework, she unintentionally perpetuated patriarchal expectations on mothers. In response, she changed her language, replacing “help” with “work” to emphasize shared responsibility among all family members. Sam believes this shift helps children understand that managing a home involves actual work and is not solely their mother’s responsibility.
Sam’s Instagram post explaining her new approach gained significant attention and support, with over 66,000 likes and nearly 2,000 comments. She advocates for changing the language around household chores to positively impact children’s perceptions of work and their roles in the family.
Introducing the “notice and do” system, Sam encourages her children to proactively identify tasks around the house. Instead of assigning specific chores, she asks them to choose one thing to notice and do. This system aims to teach children initiative and contribute to the household’s well-being.
While Sam’s approach challenges traditional gender roles and promotes shared responsibility, it has sparked debate. Some argue that managing the home is the parents’ responsibility, while others believe involving children in chores empowers them and teaches valuable life skills.
In conclusion, Sam Kelly’s decision to replace “help” with “work” when involving her children in chores represents a fresh perspective on parenting and household responsibilities. By changing language and emphasizing shared work, she challenges traditional gender roles and promotes a more equitable division of labor within her family. Despite varying opinions, Sam’s journey highlights the importance of thoughtful and intentional parenting in today’s evolving society.
